


Thoughts in the Middle of the Night

by 100percentsunshine



Series: Kaylor One Shots [1]
Category: Karlie Kloss - Fandom, Taylor Swift (Musician)
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-09
Updated: 2015-11-09
Packaged: 2019-07-06 05:24:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15879429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/100percentsunshine/pseuds/100percentsunshine
Summary: In two separate NYC apartments, Taylor and Karlie have a similar late night inner monologue.





	Thoughts in the Middle of the Night

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this when I was 12. Please don't judge.

Taylor sighs as she sinks into bed, tired after a long day at work. She feels both physically and emotionally drained, as the tour is tiring her out. She loves tour, but she has to admit that it is extremely tiring and time-consuming. Taylor grabs her phone off the nightstand, and checks her texts. After replying to a few, she goes to click on tumblr, hesitating just a few seconds before pressing her finger to the app.

"I'll just go on for like ten minutes," she mutters under her breath, fully aware that she will most likely be scrolling through posts for the next five hours.

....

Meanwhile, Karlie Kloss is pacing around her apartment with severe insomnia, forcing herself to think about anything but the blonde. She likes her in that way, she knows, but there is no way in hell Taylor could like her back. Besides, she has only recently admitted her feeling to herself; there is no way she will be telling Taylor this soon.

Karlie sighs, sinking into a chair and dropping her head into her hands. Why does love have to be so complicated? She chuckles, realizing that, if love wasn't as complex and beautiful as it is, there's a good chance Taylor would not be as famous as she is. That would make it less likely that they would've ever met and make it less likely that Karlie would fall in love with Taylor. However, Karlie knows that this secret is taking its toll on her. She has probably liked Taylor for months now, but she has only been able to admit this to herself about three days ago.

She thinks back to that night three days ago, when she got that familiar fluttering in her stomach after getting a text from Taylor. She had eagerly replied as quickly as possible, smiling from cheek to cheek. And again, she caught herself. That time, however, she didn't brush it off as usual. She stopped herself to think, really think about it. Wasn't that fluttering she got in her stomach the same one she once had when she received a text from Josh? Yes, it was. After this astonishing realization, Karlie could only sit there for minute and try to think back to when this feeling must've begun.

Karlie couldn't place a time to it, causing her to realize that she was in much deeper than she realized. She remembered saying, "I like Taylor Swift, I like Taylor Swift," out loud, repeating it over and over again like a chant. She continued to say it until the phrase stopped sounding like words. After about 10 minutes of this, she stopped, finally feeling clean. At this realization, she had burst into tears.

Not knowing why she was crying, Karlie had waited for the tears to stop and began pacing back and forth across her room. She felt a sense of utter calm rush over her as soon as she admitted to herself that she had feelings for her best friend. She had never understood the thirteenth track on Taylor's new album more than now. She was finally able to empathize with the singer's feelings of being clean.

....

Back in the present, Taylor is still scrolling through tumblr. She has now been on the app for almost two hours, scrolling through the "kaylor" tag. Karlie has always been amused about the fandom's fanfictions and edits, but Taylor has secretly been surprised of how supporting her fans are of the idea of her dating another woman.

She likes Karlie, no doubt about it, but the model hasn't shown any signs of having the same feelings towards her. She had this crush for a few months now. Taylor has always been extremely open about her feelings, at least to herself. If she wasn't, her songs wouldn't be honest. If there's anything Taylor wants in her music, it's honesty.

When the blonde first realized that she was crushing on her best friend, she was certainly surprised, She had always thought that she was straight, alongside the rest of the world. Taylor knew that she wasn't gay; her previous relationships with men certainly were real. This is why she cannot share her secret. If she were to come out as bisexual (or whatever she is; she herself isn't sure) the rest of the world might think that her past relationships had been lies, and that she doesn't deserve all the awards she has won, of the success she has been blessed to have.

Sometimes, Taylor thinks, secrets best to keep to yourself. If she were to share this with anyone, it would cause more trouble than it's worth. She can live with this. Her love and lust for the model can be contained. Karlie is certainly a great, and Taylor does not want to trade that friendship for anything. One of the most valuable lessons the singer has learned is that, sometimes it is best to keep quiet. Sure she would like to go out with Karlie, but she is sure that her feeling towards the model would not be mirrored back to her. After all, Karlie is straight. And she has a boyfriend.

No matter what, Taylor is extremely grateful for her friendship with Karlie, because it has taught her so much.

She sighs as she turns onto her side and turns off her phone. She's had enough of tumblr for tonight. As she curls up under the blankets, she feels a tear fall down her cheek. Taylor bites her lip as she begins to cry. Why does this have to be so complicated? If she wasn't famous, she could just tell Karlie how she feels without any serious repercussions. But fame complicates everything. Being with a girl could ruin her career. That is the sad truth of it.

Most of all, Taylor is confused and frustrated by these new feelings. She wants Karlie to like her back. She wants to be with whomever she wants, and not have all of her relationships scrutinized and criticized by the media. She wants to be completely unapologetic about her feelings towards the model.

But at the same time, she feels that beautiful feeling that accompanies falling in love. Taylor is sure that Karlie doesn't feel the same way towards her. And that's okay. She has had her heart broken before, and she will go through all of that pain again in order to preserve the friendship with the girl that she loves.


End file.
